A Challenge Full of Life
by Kestriel
Summary: Ichigo reflects upon his past, dredging up sharp memories of his mother. Ishida wakes up just in time for a kiss. Very fluffy. Please R&R!


Title: A Challenge Full of Life.

Author: Kestriel

Series: Bleach

Disclaimer: Blah blah, they're sadly not mine...

Summary: Ichigo reflects upon his past, dredging up sharp memories of his mother. Ishida wakes up just in time for a kiss. Very fluffy.

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My mother used to tell me that everyday was a challenge (and at the time, I had thought that I understood.) This remark was most often accompanied by a soft smile, and her eyes had always turned up _just so_, making them sparkle with an inner light that could never be captured, except in my mind's eye, where is was forever alight with her love of life. Even had I been a painter (which is laughable) there would not be enough colors in the world to mix a pigment even similar to the sparkle of her eyes. And to this day, I have never seen anyone as beautiful (glowing) as she. 

This challenge she spoke of was my constant source of comfort in the earlier days. Picked on, singled out, _displaced _for being different… my life each day had been a painful reminder of that one distant (beloved) voice: "Every day is a challenge…" And so I took it; I took it all, never really believing (or wanting to believe) that one day it could change- that one day, the monotony of distrust and anger would fade away… but it did.

My mother had said, before she had gone (disappeared and never to be seen), that once I had someone important in my life, once I had someone who needed me as much as I needed them, I would change. And as the child I was, I didn't understand. I nodded to make her happy. I promised solemnly, in my little boy's voice, that I would do my best to protect the one's I loved. I promised to protect _her_. And when I failed, as I still see it now, I lost the belief in myself, and the stability that had been my life fell apart. I took it all then, the pain of my father and my sisters', I drew it upon my shoulders, subconsciously believing that if only I could do this right, this one thing, that everything else would be okay again. _I would be forgiven. _

Forgiveness though, had already been given. I just needed to see it, believe it, and have faith for it to succeed. I didn't even realize how far I had fallen until you caught me. Through the harsh words and the glares, the self- loathing I expressed as anger, you walked forwards steadily, almost without knowing. Almost. You figured out everything, and that was when you caught me. Desperate to be useful, desperate to protect where I had once failed, I had rushed headlong (broken) into danger. To be pulled back, to be made to understand that the forgiveness I was searching for was somewhere within me, made me snap back to reality with a painfully dizzying sensation.

I look down, at the sleeping redemption by my side, and reflect that _this one_, no matter how much he protested that it wasn't so, is the most important figure in my life. I gazed at beautiful (ridiculously) long lashes, perpetually hidden by large glasses, and sighed, thinking that he had no good cause to hide that at all.

Soft porcelain cheeks were caressed with a tenderness previously unthinkable, and the orange- haired Shinigami gave a small, rare smile.

Your eyes flutter open and I found myself staring deeply into sharp blue eyes. My smile freezes, then softens a bit at the corners, and I realize that I'm never in control of myself with you. It hit me suddenly, that dizzying sensation from before, and I was falling… falling…

The kiss, when it happened, was unexpectedly strong. It was just a little too desperate, a little too fast and a little too hard, but somehow I knew that you understood. And as we draw apart, I stare into your eyes with my soul laid bare, ready for you to do as you wish. My strength is you. My weakness is in your hands. And as you cradle my life close to your breast (really, my hand, although it feels like so much more) and I feel your heart beating in time with mine, I'm relieved of the burden that has been pressing down upon my chest (since forever) and I let myself go.

I fall into your arms, and though you look a little bit surprised, you seem also indulgent and supportive. Your eyes have softened just a little bit, lidded in a not- quite- awake- yet phase. We slowly fall back and you rub little circles in the small of my back, murmuring something under your breath. I don't really know what you're saying, but to me, it's saying that you're here, with me, and that is the most important thing of all. Your hand tightens (oh so gently) on my hip, and your mouth whispers sweet softness in my ear as I relax within the safety of your comfort.

"Uryuu," I whisper softly, almost reverently, eyes closed and lost in this one, perfectly imperfect moment, because as we both know, we were never born to play hero. And this moment would never be written, would lie forgotten, simply collecting dust in our memories... because we all know that heroes are never, _ever_, weak. This moment dies with us.

The challenge, though, the one I thought I understood, was more different than I could have ever thought to unravel at that young (untried) age. This challenge grew as I grew, experienced pressure as I experienced pressure, and unraveled even as I unraveled, until it became like me- imperfect and raw. This challenge of every day wasn't to protect myself. It was to protect the ones I loved from harm, and this… this need was something else entirely. And with this thought, my hand finds a slim hip, and we lay there, chest to chest, and an invisible bond strung between us. My hand then finds yours, entwining them together as we so often were (in this very place) and as my breath tickles your ear, you close your eyes and fall back asleep, letting me satisfy my need. And make no mistake, I will protect you… with everything I have.

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A/N: My first fic (that I've had to courage to post) so thank you for reading ) _Constructive _flames are welcomed with a welcome mat, as are all other comments of course 

A/N: Editted for tenses (thanks to my wonderful reviewers) 3 Plz R&R some more! hehe


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